INFJ/INTJ Relationships

Teal Geiger
4 min readApr 25, 2021


Happy Sunday!

In continuing with the relationship series after a brief hiatus, today I will discuss INFJ’s with INTJ’s. I am intentionally starting with INFJ (as my own type) but will expand out from there. Please let me now if there is a type pairing you are interested in, and I am happy to write a bit about it!

Again, remember to stay tuned for you and your partner’s type! This information also applies to friendships, or familial relationships, but I am going to apply it to romantic relationships for purposes of efficiency.

A common pairing for INFJ is INTJ. The similarities between the two types are all of the letters except the third one, the preference for thinking versus feeling. I will also explain a bit about the similarities and differences in the first two cognitive functions between the two types. Both INFJ’s and INTJ’s use introverted intuition as their first function, and INFJ’s use extroverted feeling, whereas INTJ’s use extroverted thinking as their secondary function.

To start, let’s discuss the type preference that is opposite (thinking versus feeling):

Those that use a feeling preference will consider relationships and the emotions of others when making a decision. Their primary decision-making factor is how that decision will affect other people. Those that use a thinking preference are usually very rational and efficient. They base their decision-making primarily on what makes the most sense based on a variety of factors, for example, timing, resources, or money. People with a thinking preference tend to be very fair in their relationships, however they will not necessarily base decisions on another person’s feelings about the decision.

To dive into the cognitive functions, the INFJ and INTJ have the same dominant cognitive function, which is introverted intuition. This means that they both take in patterns and data and process it internally. Introverted intuition is a perceiving function, meaning it is done subconsciously. Because of this, the INFJ and INTJ may have deep insights that appear to come quite randomly. However, the brain is always processing the information or patterns that it picks up on, and when the patterns come together, it creates a big picture awareness that seems mystical to someone observing the INFJ or INTJ’s insights. When an INTJ and an INFJ come together, they will be fascinated with discussing theoretical topics and asking “what if” questions, for example, about the Universe and our fundamental existence.

The secondary functions for each type: the INFJ’s secondary function is extroverted feeling and the INTJ’s secondary function is extroverted thinking. The secondary functions are really where an INTJ and an INFJ can differ, or feel that they process things quite differently from one another. The INFJ uses their secondary function to create harmony within groups, and to process their feelings externally. An INFJ may want to talk about their feelings, and work through them. An INTJ may indulge this, but not fully understand, as the INTJ is using extroverted thinking as their secondary cognitive function. The INFJ can feel disregarded or hurt by the INTJ’s lack of emotional response to their feelings. An INTJ using extroverted thinking, likes to take in external data and use it to understand the world. They enjoy facts and logic, and may feel that the INFJ is impractical and emotional, and not understand why the INFJ would focus so much of their decision-making process on other people and their emotions.

INTJ’s and INFJ’s are likely to share similar interests, like philosophizing, learning about a variety of new topics, and/or some creative pursuits, like writing. There are likely to be a few hobbies that are different, as with any type pairing, and the INTJ may be more interested in science or technology, etc (more factual based topics) than an INFJ.

The best way for these two types to get along is to really indulge the dominant cognitive function and find new and interesting topics to discuss. A big part of this is also to just ask your partner to respect, if they are unable to understand, your decision-making process, which is either the preference for thinking or feeling.

I hope this helps some of you in an INFJ/INTJ relationship! Feel free to email if you have questions, or if there is a type pairing you’d like me to discuss next, or anything else!

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Teal Geiger

I am an intuitive writer, MBTI enthusiast and an INFJ.