Impatience
The topic of impatience has come up a lot for me lately, and not to mention, it was a recent topic in Lauren Sapala’s most recent class called The Joyful Writer. I never thought of myself as an impatient person, in fact, I had been complimented on my extreme patience and low maintenance in the past. But I recently realized that while I have patience for other people, I do not have patience with myself. In fact, I was so caught up in being impatient with myself and feeling like I was running out of time all the time, that was what was causing issues in my closest relationships.
I treat time like a commodity that there isn’t enough of. Like I will never have enough time to complete all the things I want to complete in this life, I will never be able to read all the books I want to read, meet all the people I want to meet. So instead of going slowly and being in the present moment, I was constantly living in the future, trying to blow through everything I felt that I had to do so that I didn’t miss out on anything. I was setting myself schedules that I was adhering to very strictly, and it didn’t help that I have about eight-ten meetings per day for work, causing me to stress that I wouldn’t make it to each one of them if I didn’t keep a close eye on the time.
Another part of impatience with myself is perfectionism, and asking myself why I can’t just get things done faster that are perfect? When I am going slowly with something, and it isn’t turning out the way I want it to, that’s another aspect to impatience.
Does anyone else experience this, and if so, what is your experience with it? Are there other things that you recognize as impatience with yourself? I recently went on vacation in Mexico for eight days, and my brain & body forced me to relax. I opened up my computer and the words on the screen actually appeared fuzzy, and my head felt like it was in a fog. I took eight glorious days and spent each present moment with my partner. I didn’t do any work, or anything that I felt like had to be perfect. It was the ultimate reset, and I haven’t gone back to my impatient ways just yet. However, I do feel lazy, and my current goal is to find the right balance between doing and resting.
Write to me and let me know if you experience impatience with yourself! I’d love to hear what you have to say & start a discussion about it: infinitetealskies@gmail.com
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Love,
Teal
